When my husband and I started dating, we were just babies… a mere 16 & 17 years old. At that time, I had “dated” several guys and knew what I wasn’t looking for. Most of the guys I went out with lasted just a few weeks because something within the communication style between us was irritating to me. The cadence of our speech and conversation just wasn’t right and I could *feel* it inside of me. I could feel the dissonance in our ‘music’. So, I would inevitably say good-bye and move on to the next male who caught my energetic attention.
If I could go back and look at all of the charts of those boys, I’d be fascinated to see what areas were strong and which were the repelling energies. What I didn’t know I was looking for, was a calmer, grounded and quiet energy. That wasn’t what I was attracting though. I was calling in fun, playful, boisterous energy that was not long-term compatible. It was fun in the moment and exciting on the surface, but the deeper communication, the maturity and ability to grow and evolve was what I really needed.
When I manifested my now husband, I was in the process of attempting to set him up with a friend of mine for a school dance. As I was describing him and his attributes, (we had been friends for a while), I felt something pull at me deep inside. I feel sort of a, “Hey! That’s what I want!” well up from deep inside of me. So, even though we had been friends for a while and I never thought of him as ‘boyfriend’, I listened to my intuition and abruptly hung up on her to call him. We had a deep connection that grew fast.
Over the years we have discovered we are a perfect example that demonstrates “opposites attract”. The right parts of us are opposite and compliment one another nicely, and then there are other parts of us that are similar where we grow and expand together. For the most part though, we are very opposite in many ways, including communication. He’s soft spoken, more reserved, a bit unsure and takes a long time to think and process. I am none of those things. While that is amazing and beneficial for a lot of our conversations, there are times when it causes some big time issues. This is where astrology has been super helpful.
Over the years, as my interest grew and I learned to read planets, placements, and houses, I would intimately study mine and my husband’s charts each night before bed (heck, we still do it on date night!). I would read article after article, looking for patterns and connections that I could use to understand how he functioned and how I did. Guess what…? It worked. Like for-real, worked. Our communication improved as we aged and matured. The more I learned and studied us, the more I found I became observant while conversing and connecting. I watched how he responded to me or I to him. I became less emotionally tied into things, thus, less emotionally triggered and in-general, more of a calm person.
I certainly still feel all of the emotions and am emotionally engaged in my relationship, but at the time, as I was growing, maturing, and developing, I was way too emotionally triggered and needed help balancing and calming my reactions. The way I found worked for me to do that has been through learning astrology. It has given my brain the words I needed to understand and identify what our struggles were and where changes needed to be made. Where I (or he) needed to compromise, be more empathetic, or more compassionate.
It’s not just astrology that has helped. We’ve done marriage counseling, therapy, and a plethora of other personality tests, profiles, and ways of learning to understand ourselves and patterns better. We have dipped our toes in Enneagram, Human Design, and Gene Keys and Numerology. Both of us have loved to work on personal development, even when we didn’t know that’s what we were doing. Our tool of choice over the years has always come back to Astrology and all of the depth it explores.
It is one of the oldest studies of human beings – it’s what we do… we track the stars and learn the energies. We are intricately connected to the stars and they to us, so much so that we are literal stardust… the essence that makes us. Our curiosity to the stars has sent us physically to the moon and technologically to Mars. It’s amazing how much our drive to understand space and beyond has propelled us in these last few decades. At the same time, the collective interest in astrology seems to be growing by leaps and bounds with people working hard on understanding the energies of The Universe.
I love it! I love that it’s becoming more accepted and how much the interest in astrology is truly growing! I know it continues to happen in our family, and not only has it helped my husband and I, but now we teach our children about learning to communicate and compromise using astrology. We have taught them the basics of how to read their charts and they are learning to understand the basics of themselves, their elemental energies and what that all means. When we do that, we create a space of empathy and understanding, not only of themselves, but for each other and how everyone communicates uniquely. It is humbling to see these skills and this maturity develop through their comprehension of their birth charts.
As we all are growing and developing, it is crucial to not only learn to understand ourselves on a deeper level, but to learn to understand how we interact with ‘the other’ in any kind of relationship. We are social humans and can be easily affected by emotions, drive, spirit, and other people, so when we learn how us and another function together, it helps our thinking brain, our intellectual side to mature and develop and overcome old programming that doesn’t serve us. I’m so grateful for this tool to be able to better understand myself and my loved ones on a deep level.
